Ok, I will start this out by apologizing for not posting in a little while, especially after I said I was going to start posting more often and then did the exact opposite. Haha

But anyway, I just wanted to drop this post here. I am letting you all know that I have some things that I’m going to be talking about at some point in the future.

Vague?

I know.

See you soon.

Is it me or does it seem like this week is moving faster than last week? Last week was a 4-day week that felt forever, while now in this 5-day week I’m thinking “My Tuesday work day is almost over”… It’s really weird.

I remember back in the day wishing that we had 4-day work weeks, but based off of last week, I think that would be awful…at least for the first few weeks. I’m sure I’d get used to it eventually, but I think there’s something special about the 5-day week.

This is a random thought, but I felt that I needed to get this out. Haha

Hey guys! I wanted to tell you that I will be posting more often. There are some other things that I would like to talk about on the blog, but they might not always be that serious. In fact you might see more mobile posts like this one, so I think the newfound freedom will be a good thing.

Also, I wanted to thank those of you who like my posts and follow my blog! I really appreciate it. So thank you all.

See you sooner than later!

In my last post Wisdom Aftermath, I told you all that I was going to dive deeper into my moving into my first single apartment. Here we go.

So in January of 2017, my resolution was to move into my own apartment. I lived with my parents up until then, and at 23 years old I felt that I was going to be ready to move into my own place. At that time I was working in Pennsylvania and I was making good enough money to afford a cheap one bedroom nearby. So I figured I would save up for a down payment and maybe in September I would be set to move in.

Well…that happened. Kind of.

My friend Dave got me an interview for the job back in 2016, and I ended up working on the same team as him. Things were going well, but then the company got bought out by a larger company and so they ended up eliminating our position at the office.

It was kind of funny how this happened, because when they told us that they were eliminating most of the positions they also offered everyone the opportunity to move out to Dallas. The moment they told us that, I was already sold on going.

Dave however, was not happy about this. He had a lot going on his life at the time and finding out that he was losing his job just made things worse.

Me being a good friend, I pretty much said “I’m going with or without you.” After we heard the job’s offer, we both ended up saying that we were gonna make the move.

Now this is where the apartment situation comes in.

If you’ve read my post a few weeks ago (Friendship), you’d know my moving history. If you didn’t read it, then to keep it brief…I moved a lot…. Alright, and so I was all set and ready to move into my own place out in a city and state that I’ve never been to before. But Dave certainly wasn’t ready for that.

Dave had the life that I wish I had for many years. He had grown up in the same place all his life. He has the same friends that he’s known since he was in school. He has the best friend that’s like a brother. He has all the memories and such that come with it…I’m not bitter. I promise.

And so while I, Mr. Loner Outcast (nice to meet you all), was ready to be on my own. Dave wasn’t quite ready to do that. And so even though I wanted my own space, I decided to go ahead and live in a roommate situation. And so…And so….And so…

….I’m not gonna say that it was the worst decision I could’ve made…yeah, definitely not the worst. However, I should’ve stuck to my guns about us maybe living on our own places, but maybe staying in the same apartment complex.

I am 5 years younger than Dave, but I am an old soul. He likes to be around people, so he surrounds himself with friends and girls. I’m an introvert who likes his alone time. There’s a few small things that he does that bugs me. I’m sure I do some things that bug him too.

I try not to make a big deal out of anything because it’s his home too, so he should be able to live how he wants.

That should go for me as well, but I am unable to live the way I’d like to because that would mean not having a roommate. Haha

And so I have been finding ways to exist over the last year. Our lease is up in late August, but I plan to be gone at the start of month.

I am very much looking forward to having my own space to be free. I’ll be able to be as artistic and as creative as I want to be. I’ll be able to actually utilize my entire apartment and not have to be considerate of anyone but myself.

I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Now to clarify, just in case I wasn’t clear about this, me wanting to live alone isn’t really about Dave. I love the guy, but I just have no desire to live with anyone.

I can honestly say that I would rather live in a shoe box alone than in a luxury palace with a roommate.

#SorryNotSorry #DrowningRoommate #AndSo #MyBirthdayIsOnFriday

See ya next week!

Hey! This is a quick mobile post.

So I had a dry socket problem that I ended up using home remedies to get rid of. It wasn’t pleasant, but I healed faster than what is normally predicted. I can eat solids again and I am taking a little less Advil every day, so I’m happy.

However, I have been super distracted lately. Bouncing from project to project and thinking about my near future. I am going to be moving into my first single apartment soon and I am really excited. I plan to go into more detail about this in my next post so stay tuned.

I apologize for not having something better to talk about this week, but I think it’s only going to get better from here…. Hopefully.

Please not me know if you have any wisdom teeth horror stories.

Alright, friends. Til next week!

#WisdomTeethRemoval

That is all.

Haha No, well I mean yes. Yes, I just got my wisdom teeth out yesterday, but no as in there will be more to this post.

I have been healing up pretty quick. I have had very little pain so far, but I decided to continue with my days off from work just in case in things take a turn.

I really hope they don’t.

One thing I’ve come to learn about getting out your wisdom teeth is all of the stories that people have about getting their’s out. I came a cross so many co-workers telling me their stories looking to prepare me for what’s to come, and sad to say but my story is nothing noteworthy.

I went in, got drugged, got my teeth removed, and left. My roommate took me home, I ate a bunch of children’s GoGURTS, I slept, I crocheted a bit to make sure the pills weren’t affecting my brain…and they actually weren’t. I swapped between gauze for the blood, and the ice packs that were strapped to my face.

The WORST part of it was that my jaw, bottom lip, and my tongue were numb for like 12 hours. I made the mistake of putting in the symptoms online and I read about nerve damage that could last for days or weeks. The numbness went away slowly to the point where literally one half was numb. I felt like Two-Face.

I’m happy to say I woke up this morning and I can feel my face. Success!

The Black Wed_d00b_05c

But yeah, that’s not all I wanted to talk about this week, though at this point I don’t see the point in trying to go into anything deeper or more meaningful…

Let’s call this a happy post. See ya next week!

I have been thinking a lot about friendship lately, and how I really suck at it.

To give you some history on my life, I was born in San Diego, California. I left there at 4 and began school at the age of 5 in Orlando, Florida in 1998. Following that timeline, everything I learned about friendship and communication as a kid happened in a world with very little social media. MySpace came around in the early 2000s, but it didn’t matter because me and all of my friends were too young to use it.

Now, I was a shy kid. And one thing to note us by us shy children is that we really grasp on to those who begin talking to us. It may not mean much to them, but it means a lot to us because we know that no one is obligated to talk to us, or make us feel welcome.

SO I started kindergarten at Riverdale Elementary School where I made some friends, but I don’t even remember who they are. By first grade I was going to a school called Cypress Springs Elementary. I made some good friends there as well, and we got to spend a good 4 years together before I moved away right before 5th grade started. Those people were awesome. I even had a girlfriend for about a week….Good times.

Then I went to three different schools in 5th grade alone; Pinecrest Elementary (ew), a school at a boys home that my parents were working at called Green Isle Children’s Ranch, and then Riverside Elementary. Every friend that I bonded with, I ended up leaving them behind. Keep in mind that I was too young for MySpace and on top of that, very few kids had cell phones. So to stay in touch, I would need to write everyone’s home numbers down and then hope my parents would let me use the home phone to call them. But that wasn’t much of an option because I lived with quite a bit of extended family, and the adults needed the phone more than the kids. I’m not complaining, just explaining….but more friends were lost.

That led into 3 different middle schools, one for each grade (6,7,and 8). I met some great people in the 6th grade at Glenridge Middle School. The same grade that my mother FORCED me into band. But that actually turned out to be a good thing so I’m not mad about it anymore. At that school I was the token boy in a group full of girls. Some thought I was dating this one girl because we hung out a lot, but we weren’t. We were just really good friends….. Anyways, by this point, I knew it was a matter of time before we would part ways so I made sure they all knew that I was going to be moving soon. And I was right. I left Glenridge partly after school started in the 7th grade.

At that point I gave up on trying to make friends. I was tired of losing touch with everyone I’ve ever met, so I started to wear black everyday and I stopped talking. This was at Liberty Middle School. But then something happened. At the end of 7th grade in the last band class this girl named Teresa started talking to me. And she wouldn’t stop. So I ended up chatting with her, and then a guy named Carlos showed up and I talked to him too. A few minutes later we were playing catch with a bean bag or something.

The summer came and went, 8th grade started and it felt like no time passed. I was talking to Teresa and Carlos, and then some other folks. THEN WE MOVED AGAIN. Off to Odyssey Middle School for the 8th grade. I shut down again, but this time was worse than before. People tried to get me to have a conversation with them, but I would tell them that there was no point in trying. It became a game for me. A quiet game. How many people would try and fail to befriend me? Haha

9th Grade started and I was going to the Colonial High School 9th Grade Center, where 9th graders from Glendridge, Liberty, and Odyssey all came together. I ended up connecting with my band friends from Glenridge and Liberty again. That was when I opened up a bit to allow some of the Odyssey kids to go from associates to friends.

However, I knew to keep everyone at arms length. We were friends, but I knew the day was coming when all of that would be over. It happened two years later in the 11th grade when I moved out of Florida and into Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. On the bright side, it was like 2010 and so me and all of my friends were old enough to have Facebook pages. I ended up staying connected with a small fraction of high school friends, so that move wasn’t too bad.

But in all of that time I was watching a lot of kids shows where the lead characters had at least one best friend to go through thick and thin with. And that made me feel very lonely because I never had that. All I had was family, which is great, but it would have been nice to feel like someone out there loves me by choice and not because “we’re family”.

During all of these childish friendships, I remember seeing that the others were closer with each other than they were with me. When I was old enough to have a cell phone I would text people and most of the time no one would text me back. Then I’d get to school the next day and hear about how the others were talking all the time.

It sucked, but I became okay with that fact a few years ago when I learned that no one can really make me happy. I would need to find that happiness for myself. Hooray for growth!

But then that brought up another set of problems when I met my roommate, Dave, back in 2016. Through meeting him I realized that I didn’t know how to be a friend. To be honest I was quite obsessive. We chatted a lot about WWE (professional wrestling) and sometimes about girls, a little about life, etc). It was great. But then one time I sent him a text and he didn’t reply for hours. I was convinced I said the wrong thing or maybe he got hurt, but in reality he was just busy…I was slapped with the fact that I needed to turn down the crazy.

So I did that (it wasn’t as simple as I make it sound, but I did it), and then I started to morph into the dependable guy. The responsible one that always has his stuff together and is able to help those who don’t. That caused me to be the one that people are constantly taking from, but are rarely giving back to. Meaning that you can come to me to vent about your life, but I can’t vent about my life to you.

So even now in 2018 I still struggle with learning how to let people in, mostly because none of the punks around me give me the chance to open up. Ha! But this is why I blog. I want people to get to know me and I would like to know my readers as well.

One last thing I learned about friendship over the years is that it’s okay to allow people to grow up and to meet others. Your friends will have other friends that they may talk to more, but it doesn’t always mean that you guys aren’t friends as well, or that you guys don’t love each other.

The Black Wed_d00b_05d

That is my take on friendship. What do you think about the topic? Please comment and let me know!

I was born on May 25th 1993 in San Diego, California. I don’t really remember much from that time, because by 1998 I was living in Orlando, Florida. That is where I began to mold into the odd man that I am today.

It was all so normal. Living in a pink house with my mom, my older sister, and my older brother. Also add in some extended family members, like aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. I don’t really remember much about that either, but that’s mainly because I have a feeling that I didn’t like it that much.

One thing I do know is that I was a young and innocent-ish child at that point. I didn’t like to do anything wrong unless it was okay-ed by my brother. I remember being at the bus stop that was right across the street from our pink house. We would put nails on the street, point up, so that they would get stuck into people’s tires as they drove past.

I was only 5 then, so I don’t have all the details in my head, but according to my brother I was quite talented at giving strangers the gift of a nail in their tire.

You’re all welcome.

It was in that house that I experienced bullying for the first time. To be honest, this was the only time that I truly felt bullied. I felt powerless and alone, and I didn’t want to tell anyone about it because it made seem weaker.

The bullying came from an older cousin of mine named Shawn. I remember him as this tall and chubby boy who was mean to me simply because I was loved and protected by my older brother, ‘Mal (his name is Jamal, but I remember not being able to get the “Ja” part out…I was so cute. Anyways.) and some of my other cousins. Now while my brother and the other cousins liked me, some of them didn’t care for Shawn much, and he didn’t like that.

So one day when I was alone, big Shawn (not Big Sean) came up to me. He took me to a back room and kept talking about how he was going to beat me up. At this point, I was a short and thin 5 year old going up against a larger and older boy. I knew that it was going to be either me or him, and so my fight or flight instincts kicked in. And before anything could happen….I punched cousin Shawn in the face.

Blood came out of his nose and he went crying to our great grandmother. I remember feeling no remorse. I don’t believe I got into trouble either because everyone knew that Shawn didn’t like me. The boy deserved what he got.

Now, I am in no way saying to just walk up to someone who is bullying you and to punch them in the face. However, if someone tries to put their hands on you, then I don’t think there is anything wrong with protecting yourself.

I can understand someone being angry about the fact that people don’t like you, but does that give you the right to intimidate someone else? Is it okay to try and make someone feel like they don’t matter because you feel that way? The answer is no.

I am now 24 years old and I haven’t seen or talked to Shawn in years. I think being a child and not knowing how to really process your feelings was a big part of why he felt like he had to bully me to feel better about himself. I can only hope that over the last 20 years he has grown up emotionally to know how to process those feelings properly. If everyone doesn’t like you, then at some point you need to take a look at yourself.

So that is my little story about bullying. The goal of me writing about this was to give you an introduction to the beast, this hidden strength, that lived inside of me. I will be going more into when that beast really started to come through in future posts.

See you next Wedenesday.

 

I often talk like I’m a robot instead of an actual person so I refer to basic communication as human interaction. It’s weird. I get it.

Like, do you ever find yourself using the same responses with people? It’s like finding the perfect response to “How are you?” and then using that response every time someone asks about your well-being.

I tend to do that a lot. I work in customer service and I think it’s okay to use the same responses on a customer that you won’t speak to again for a little while. But I find it awkward when I tell a coworker to “Have a good day,” knowing I used that about 20 times already to other people.

Maybe instead of trying to find the perfect thing to say, I should just say whatever comes to mind….Though that could be troublesome as well…..

“How are you?”

“I feel like throwing bricks at the twelve people who cut me off on my way here…How are you?”

I’m not gonna say that we were put on this earth to communicate, but communicating is just as important as breathing. Of course you can survive if you never communicate with people, but that’s only for those who are totally self-sufficient. Sad to say, but we need people to survive. We all bring something to the table, even if you think you don’t, you do. And so learning how to communicate is very important.

Being able to express yourself to anyone and everyone in a way that is respectful is a great skill to have. But there is so much trial and error out there that sometimes I question if it is worth the trouble. You have to go through those terribly awkward conversations to get to the place when you can finally express yourself the right way.

I often stutter over my words. Sometimes I just stop and take a breath to collect my thoughts…and then I still stutter over my words. So then I do it again and it kind of comes out better.

To communicate. To have human interaction. To be able to put up with people.

Those are my resolutions that I am still working on. Go me!

It’s frustrating, but it’s life. Maybe one day we’ll all be master communicators and will never have to go through being this way ever again.

Please comment and let me know what you think! Also, give me a follow on Twitter, and feel to go to the contact page to tell me your story. Believe me, you will be learning more of my story in the coming posts so don’t think you’ll be sharing for nothing.

To those who liked my last post, thank you for reading the blog. It really means a lot. See you next Wednesday!